SK Morton’s LOUSY SAN FRANCISCO WALKING TOUR
It’s What To Do When You Step In San Francisco
Morty Explains Everything (Kinda)
Meet Morty D. Crab—our official Lousy Tour spokescrab.
Curious about our walking tours? Morty sort of answers your questions.
Leg 1 - Downtown Walking Tour
From the Palace Hotel to the Dragon Gate, we probably won’t get lost ... but there are no guarantees.
Leg 2 - Chinatown Walking Tour
Everything you always thought you wanted to know about Chinatown. And NOW with No MSG!!!
Leg 3 - Yerba Buena Walking Tour
Spanish for “Down with Earthquakes!” The Yerba Buena leg of the tour takes you above and below the city to get to the bottom of things, to stay on top.
“SK welcomes you with gifts, gives a little speech about the tour and go ! SK is a human Wikipedia of San Francisco, he knows everything, he's funny and will give you advice on many things to do! The tour is well done, not too short, not too long and, of course, interesting. Definitely not lousy !”
“…we enjoyed ourselves immensely. He's super fun and jokes around, but he also knows his stuff. You'll probably hear a lot of things you didn't know. (try and stump him) He really wants to make sure you enjoy yourselves, so if you book a tour, you won't be sorry!”
Upcoming Tour Dates
FAQs
The Lousy San Francisco Walking Tour is the illegitimate brain-child of local humorist, award-winning tour guide, and some-time personal antagonist, SK Morton. SK’s been walking in the city for almost 50 years—often with little help from others. He prides himself on his knowledge of the city and will draw on that expertise, as well as his proclivity to lie, in order to answer any questions you may have during this small group excursion.
Gain an insider’s perspective on the quirky tales of Gold Rush–era history and stories of the city’s rebirth after the 1906 earthquake on this lively and wholly entertaining exploration of the heart of San Francisco.
All tours include bottled water, candy, a souvenir drawstring backpack, and access to a library of pictures on your mobile device.
There is never any profanity on the tour, but if you are uncomfortable with decidedly non-PC style humor, you might want to try another provider.
