Lousy San Francisco’s WAlking tour faqs
What Can I Expect On The Lousy Walking Tour?
Ah. You’re the details type. Alright.
The Lousy Walking Tour includes three 2½-hour legs. Each covers a degree of San Francisco history, architecture, and culture, but some legs focus more on specific categories:
The Downtown leg is heaviest on architecture.
The Chinatown leg targets culture.
The Yerba Buena leg centers on history.
Additionally, each guest receives a bottle of water, a sweet treat, and a complimentary drawstring backpack. What?!?
(You may also experience brutal insults from your tour guide.)
How Many People Can Take The Lousy Walking Tour?
Well, I’d assume around 8 billion?
Now, at one time, SK can take up to 20 people.
When booking online, the system allows up to 16 people. If you have a group of up to 20 or would like to reserve a full tour, please get in touch with SK directly at 415-745-0315.
Can I Book Multiple Legs?
Calm down, Sparky. There’s plenty of time for everything.
Each leg of the Lousy Walking Tour picks up where the previous leg left off. There’s about half an hour of downtime between legs.
When you click the "Book " button (found on each page), you’ll be given the option to add legs to your tour.
Click here to get more details.
What Should I Bring On The Lousy Walking Tour?
Many tours will tell you just to bring a smile. They're lying to you.
You should also bring comfortable shoes and dress in layers for optimal comfort. A hat isn't a bad idea on sunny days or rainy days, for that matter.
Check out SK Morton’s Sweatshop Clearing House for other items you might want to have, such as parkas, hats, and extra backpacks.
Are There Restrooms Available On The Lousy Walking Tour?
Yes. It may require the rest of us to cause some diversion, but yes.
Each leg begins with a restroom, and there are additional rest stops along the way.
What About Transportation & Parking?
What about you relax and worry about how you're going to impress your host?
Click here for the tour maps page, which includes all public transportation and parking options.
Is The Lousy walking Tour Family Friendly?
Sure. If you're the Adams family.
The Lousy San Francisco Walking Tour is absolutely family-friendly. There is never any profanity, and any stories with an adult theme will probably go over the heads of younger ones. (SK is a skilled wordsmith and is also quite tall.)
That said, each leg runs from 1.5 to 1.75 miles and could be a bit arduous for some youngsters.
We go into, on top of, and under buildings, and many locations are not stroller-friendly.
We offer discounted tickets for youths ages 5–12.
Is the Lousy walking Tour Handicap Accessible?
Now, how am I gonna make a joke about that? Maybe something about prickly heat?
Each leg of the Lousy Walking Tour has multiple routes and can be modified to accommodate wheelchairs, walkers, canes, and other assistive devices.
It’s best to contact us ahead of time so SK can make the necessary arrangements.
What Happens If I’m Late?
One scenario is that the group waits a little while, which in turn throws off the timing of the tour. SK begins to prattle on, and the guests lose interest. One of them wanders into a store and decides to buy something using a $100 bill. The proprietor points out a sign stating that they don’t accept bills over $20. An argument ensues. The proprietor pulls out a Persian fencing saber, unaware that the guest is a Persian fencing champion who has produced his own sword. After a short altercation, the police are called, and your fellow guest is charged with murder.
Scenario 2: Please call SK at 415-745-0315, and we will let you know where to meet the group.
What Is Your Cancellation Policy?
Why? What do you know?
The general policy is that The Lousy San Francisco Walking Tour operates rain or shine, thin or flush (to quote Robert Mitchum), so the likelihood of the tour being cancelled is not an issue.
But you're asking what happens if you want to cancel.
If you're unable to make the tour, we will reschedule you for another day and a tour of your choice.
“But what if I’m visiting and won’t be in town after this?” (I’m a mind reader.)
If you need to cancel, contact us and we’ll see what we can do. But the policy is that you’re out of luck.